2024: A year in review – Alhamdulillah

Just like the previous years, I’m late again in writing down my reflections from the past year. Right now, I’m in Dubai. But how did I end up here? To explain that I have to go back to the beginning of 2024.

The year started with me in Pakistan. My house construction was nearly complete. My father’s condition remained the same. He still couldn’t speak. At times, he became hyperactive and aggressive; other times, he was calm. My mother was a bit worried about his mood swings, but that was completely understandable given his condition.

I returned to Sydney. In January, my mother-in-law and brother-in-law visited us in Sydney. My mother-in-law stayed with us for two months.

Around the same time, my parents and I decided to move into the new house in February. Due to my father’s health, he couldn’t help with the move, so my mother had to manage most of the burden. I suggested delaying the move until I could return to help, but she was eager to settle in as soon as possible. After all, it had been her lifelong dream to own her own house.

I still remember the happiness in her voice when I spoke to her on the phone after she had moved in. It was a special moment.

During Ramadan, we travelled to Pakistan again and spent almost a month in our new home. Although the house was mostly completed, a few finishing tasks were still pending, like completing the kitchen, finishing the drawing room and purchasing furniture. So we were busy in completing some of these tasks. It was a wonderful time and we celebrated Eid there.

When we returned to Sydney, my father’s mood swings returned, which again worried my mother. My brother and sister also visited Pakistan during Summer.

During the year, I applied to many jobs in Pakistan and the Middle East, hoping to relocate closer to family. I also applied for remote jobs. Unfortunately, I had no success, which was frustrating. I told myself that maybe Allah had other plans that I couldn’t yet see.

I was desperate to make move and to change something. Therefore out of desperation, I decided it was time to change houses in Sydney. The house we were living in felt too small and I felt my kids need more space. So I put it on the market in December and engaged an agent.

In December, we visited Pakistan once again and also made arrangements for Umrah. For the new kitchen in Pakistan, I placed an order with a company. It turned out to be very expensive, but once completed, it looked amazing. It became the best part of the house. On the 31st of December, we boarded our flight to Jeddah. I’ll share the details of my Umrah experience in another blog as it happened in 2025.

Work-wise, things went fine this year. I finally completed my AWS Solutions Architect certification, something I had been contemplating for the past four years. Achieving it boosted my technical confidence and helped me learn quite a few new things. Otherwise, things were fine at work.

So, like every time, if I sum up everything that apart from my father’s condition and no luck finding job in Pakistan, the rest year I would say has been an amazing year for me to achieve significant milestones of my life and fulfilling life-long dream of owning my own house in Pakistan. I am truly grateful to Allah for his blessings.

Dated: 07-Apr-2025

2023: A year in review – From where do I begin ?

 It's June 2024, and I still have not written my recollections of 2023. From where do I begin? Anyways, let’s start.

The year began with my visit to Pakistan. My house’s grey structure almost got finished during that time. I selected tiles with my architect and came back. The rest of January and February progressed with construction activities. On March 3rd, I was in the office when my dad called me and talked to me about electric switches. After one hour, I got a call from my sister that Dad had a stroke attack. At first, we did not understand it and the gravity of the situation. My brother and sister flew back to Lahore, and I also booked a flight but then decided to go later since Dad was out of danger. I flew to Lahore after a few weeks. It was very heart breaking to see Dad like that. He had an NG tube in his nose through which he used to get his feed. The NG was there for 3 months. My Dad lost his speech and right arm movement due to the stroke. Since my Dad was supervising the house construction, the construction work stopped. I mobilised the workers and bought the materials they required. Meanwhile, my contract at NAB was ending in May, and I had to find a new job. I gave multiple interviews but did not get any good offers. Finally, I got an offer from a government department. I started that job in May. I was supervising the house construction remotely and hired another supervisor to assist me in finishing. Even though he did not supervise things in the way I wanted, he still provided help. In June, we visited Melbourne and stayed there for some days. Traveling with kids who all have their interests becomes hard and exhausting. So, it was not a great trip, I would say. I visited Pakistan again in October as my sister was worried that things might not be going the ideal way. Also, that gave me the opportunity to stay with my parents. In November, we went on a weekend cruise. I really loved this kind of holiday. I am at a stage in life where a holiday means good food to me. In December, while browsing tickets, I found cheap tickets to Pakistan so I visited Lahore again for 10 days. That gave me an opportunity to spend time with my parents as well as finish the last few things of the house. I visited Pakistan 4 times within a year. There was a time during COVID when I couldn’t visit Pakistan for almost 3 years. These travels compensated for that loss.

In a nutshell, 2023 has four main aspects for me. Foremost, the health and condition of my Dad; second, my house construction; third, travel, and holidays; and fourth, the stress of finding a new job.

Dated: 07-Jun-2024

Sukh

 These days I am fascinated and longing for one word. that is Sukh.

انسان زندگی سکھ کی تلاش میں گزر دیتا ہے . مگر سکھ کیسے ، کب اور کہاں ملتا ہے ؟ سکھ کا احساس دِل کو بہت آرام دیتا ہے . زُبان سے نکلا  یہ لفظ دِل کو ٹھنڈک پہنچاتا ہے… چاہیے وہ گھڑی دو گھڑی کے لیے کیوں نا ہو . اِس زندگی میں مجھے بھی سکھ کی تلاش ہے . بچپن میں کہیں کھو گیا تھا یہ احساس . . پڑھائی میں ، ذمےداریوں کو نبھانے میں . . روزی کمانے میں . . خاندان کو پالنے میں . . جوانی کی ساری محنت اسی لیے ہے کہ بڑھاپا سکھ میں گزر سکے . . مگر سکھ تب بھی ملے گا کہ نہیں اِس کا مجھے معلوم نہیں .

Dated: 27-Jun-2023

Cheers… to all the friendships I lost…

Okay, it is time for me to write something. I need to put my thoughts into writing. A few days ago, I watched Shahrukh's video in which he mentioned that he doesn't know how to make friends. This reminded me of my own experiences with friendships and the friends I have lost over time. I can completely relate to what he said because I also struggle with making friends. And even when I do make friends, I find it challenging to maintain those friendships for a long time.

In dealing with friends, I have been quite immature. I have often abandoned my friends based on temporary emotions, without considering the long-term consequences. Sometimes, the pain caused by a friend hurts so deeply that it becomes hard to forget. It can take me years to heal from such hurt. Strangely, once I heal, I tend to forget the reasons behind the pain. Instead of trying to resolve conflicts with my friends, I have chosen to walk away from them. However, I am now realizing that this is not the right approach. I should make an effort to keep my friends and work on resolving any conflicts that may arise.

At times, I feel that I am the only one making an effort to keep the friendship alive, while the other person does not reciprocate. But perhaps that's just how friendships are. We need to hold on to them and not let them slip away. It may be challenging to reconnect with old friends whom I have distanced myself from, but if I get the chance to mend those friendships, I will definitely take it.

It is important to treat people with kindness and not lose our friends over trivial matters. If someone wants to leave, we should let them go. And if they want to come back, we should have a big heart and welcome them back with open arms.

So, today I am making a promise to myself. I will not lose any more friends from now on. I will try my best to keep my friendships alive and make an effort to nurture and cherish them.

Dated: 1-Jun-2023

2022: A year in review – Emotions, Dreams and Stress

It's March 2023, and I realise I haven't written down my 2022 recollection. I was very consistent with my blogs in the last few months of 2022, but somehow, I forgot to write about 2022 itself. Allow me to begin.

I began the year 2022 in Lahore. I took a leave of absence from work for 8–9 weeks. In my professional career, that is the longest work break I have ever taken. At the time, my brother and sister were also in Lahore. We hadn't seen each other in ages. We had some quality time together. During that trip, I made the decision to start building on my plot. My lifelong dream has been to own a home in Lahore. I employed an architect. Before deciding on the initial layout of my house, I visited several model homes.

But then something bothered me. My wife informed me of a court case that I was previously unaware of. With that news, all the excitement of the trip vanished, and there were a few emotional breakdowns. One of my friendships(?) got broken. At least, I thought we were friends but the other guy didnt think like that. Anyway, before my return flight, I was diagnosed with COVID. I had yet to finalise a builder for my house, so I rushed to do so.

At the Lahore airport, an incident occurred, and security personnel discovered bullet shells in my bag. My son collected these at his uncle's wedding, and my wife kept them in a bag. I was already experiencing mixed emotions, was exhausted and sick from COVID, and was prepared for anything. I would not have resisted even if they had imprisoned me. They did, however, release us. I boarded my plane and took off for Sydney.

On the same day I arrived in Sydney, a recruiter contacted me and invited me to apply for a contract position at NAB. I reluctantly agreed to apply for the position. Now that I've decided to build a house, I need to start saving money, and the contract job's daily rate was very good. I received the job offer and chose to accept it. I sadly resigned from Westpac. Saying goodbye to Westpac was difficult. It was my longest job. But I understood, aside from a good salary, Westpac provided no benefits to my career. To stay competitive and advance professionally, I must seek out new opportunities. If given the option, I would have stayed at Westpac for the rest of my life. However, I missed my previous colleagues who have left Westpac in the last few years, and Westpac wasn't the same without them. I started my new job at NAB, and it progressed smoothly through the rest of the year.

I was concerned about my mother's health in the first few months of 2023. She had stones in her gallbladder. Even though they were surgically removed in December 2022, one of them remained, causing problems for her. She had to have another surgery. Everything went well, and she recovered quickly, thanks to Allah.

In October, I went to the Gold Coast with my family and had a great time with my kids.

The house construction had begun in April and was going well. The builder eventually changed his mind, halted construction, and started giving excuses. The fool in me had already paid all the bills in advance. I didn't have enough money to finish the construction by myself. It was a difficult situation for me. The grey structure could not be finished. My father proposed that we use his money to complete the remaining grey structure work. I planned a trip to Lahore for the end of December and was in Lahore in the last week of December.

In a nutshell, 2022 began with emotion, progressed through dreams, and concluded with stress.

Ecstatic Moment

I had the most ecstatic experience of my life the day before yesterday. 09-November-2022.

Australia is currently hosting the T20 World Cup. The trophy is being contested by the world's top 12 cricket teams. This tournament was supposed to take place in Australia in 2020, but it was cancelled due to COVID. When the tournament was supposed to take place in 2020, I purchased tickets for one of the Pakistani matches, but they were refunded.

In the first match of the 2022 T20 World Cup, Pakistan was narrowly defeated by India. Zimbabwe defeated them in the second match. They defeated the Netherlands in their third match. The fourth match was supposed to be held in Sydney. I decided to buy tickets 10 days before the game. It was a bit pricey, but I thought about having this experience. I couldn’t find all the tickets in the same row. So, I purchased tickets in two rows, front and back.

The game took place on Thursday. We used public transportation to get to the stadium. I wasn't expecting such a large crowd. There were a lot of Pakistanis at the light rail station. Anyway, we arrived at the stadium. The game went much better than expected. My children knew nothing about cricket. But they had a good time. The DJ played various Pakistani songs during the game. This heightened the excitement. At one point, rain began to fall, causing the match to be delayed for more than 30 minutes. They played the "Dil Dil Pakistan" song during this time. There was a line in the song that said, "Ghar apna to sab ko jee jaan se pyara lagta hai." This line struck me and brought tears to my eyes. To sum up, Pakistan won the match, and it was a fantastic experience. Wait, this isn't the moment I was referring to.

Pakistan had to play another match after this one, and the other teams had to play theirs as well. Because of Allah's will, luck was on Pakistan's side, and the team advanced to the semi-finals. And guess where the semi-finals were supposed to be held: Sydney. Because I arrived late to the party, tickets were scarce. They were prohibitively expensive. It would have cost us all nearly $1075. My wife said I could go by myself, but I preferred to go with my family. Anyway, I persevered and found 5 tickets. There were two tickets in section 25 row G and three in section 26 row D. It cost me around $500. There was a WhatsApp group for this match. People were selling and buying tickets there. Fortunately, I discovered two tickets in section 26, row D, next to the seats I purchased. It looks like Allah has plans for us.

The game was set to begin at 7 p.m. on Wednesday. I drove all the way to the stadium. I didn't take public transportation this time because it wasn't a convenient option for the family, especially since my youngest had day care the next day and the kids had school, and I didn't want them to get tired of catching and waiting for trains. The drive to the stadium was lengthy and congested. I was concerned about finding parking or having my tickets rejected because the other guy had sold them to someone else. However, I was able to find a parking space at Sydney Boys High School and enter the stadium with my family.

I was a little disappointed when I found my seats. The front row was next to the fence. I was afraid that people would come up and stand in front of me, ruining my experience. But nothing of the sort occurred. The game began, and Pakistan exceeded expectations this time. The cameraman approached the fence several times, and I appeared on screen a few times. A few relatives and friends called or texted to say they saw me on TV. My children were equally ecstatic. The mood and ambience of the stadium and game were so electric that I don't think I've ever experienced anything like it in my life. At the halfway point of the match, Pakistan appeared to be on track to win. “Dil Dil Pakistan” was played again at the end, and everyone in the stadium sang along. This entire experience was the most treasured and joyful memory of my life. I'm glad I got to share it with my kids and wife. They were all there to witness it. It made me so happy that for the first time in my life, I felt alive. I don't think I've ever felt this way before.

I'm still getting goosebumps and having tears in my eyes two days after the game because of this experience. The money was well spent, and I believe such opportunities are rare in life. I'm not sure when I'll have another such experience. But for now, “Dil Dil Pakistan”. Dammit. I had no idea I was a patriot. I used to believe that countries were unimportant to me. Kings and rulers draw borders to define their empires. But for the time being, Pakistan is my heart and my life.

Dated: 11-Nov-2022

Happy

I was contemplating what makes me happy while taking my youngest daughter on our daily walk today. To be completely honest, I don't know what makes me happy. I'm still trying to decide if I'm a happy or sad person. I'm not a happy person, that much is certain. However, it also doesn't make me depressed. I don't have any sadness or depression. I have my bad days.

There haven't been many occasions in my life where I can honestly say that I've been happy. The day my baby was born would rank as my happiest day. My memory remembers this specific moment. That was perhaps my happiest moment.

When I was a child, meeting my cousins, indulging in junk food and sweets, and drinking Pepsi made me happy. I loved watching movies, going on rides, and reading good books. When I had good grades or moved up in the class, I could see it on my mother's face, and that made me happy. I don't remember any nice memories from my teenage years. My adolescence was not a good period of my life.

In my early 20s, at the end of my university life, when it came to knowing, I scored the highest GPA in my class. That made me happy and getting a gold medal made me happy. Actually, my father was happier about that than I was. Aside from becoming financially independent, I believe that getting a new automobile and travelling the world made me happy throughout the remainder of my 20s. There have been a few occasions in my professional life when I have been extremely delighted as a result of a success I had: a promotion, a pay raise, or perhaps landing a new job.

My dad used to say that my wife is a happy person, and I should look at her, but I don't know if she is still a happy person or not. She is probably less happy than before.

Happiness, in my opinion, diminishes as we mature in life. You search for new things to make you happy because the things that formerly made you happy don't make you as happy as they once did.

Nowadays, I believe that anything that brings my kids joy also makes me happy. If they are successful, I'm happy about it. I'm happy when we travel and I'm happy when I see their smiles. So, yes, children are the focus right now, but what makes me happy? There ought to be something to make me happy besides the kids, so I need to figure it out. Perhaps a few interests, a few jobs, or something else that has no place in a person. I should be able to feel happiness. In actuality, I need to look inward for happiness rather than search outside of myself for it.

Dated: 02-Nov-2022