Lost and Found

For quite some time, I have been having this feeling that I have lost something. What exactly was it? I am unable to find it. However, I do remember the very first time I had this feeling. I absolutely have no clue, even if I think hard to remember what apparently made me dwell on it. But it seems like that thing that was very dear to me got lost inside me. On the flip side, I have found something which has now become dear to me. Perhaps what was lost has been compensated for by what was gained, as if a farewell for one is a welcome for the other.

I have found the above post in my drafts. I wrote this in May 2010. That feeling of loss has been subdued now and I barely remember that feeling. However, I have lost another thing from inside me. This happened sometime during the second half of 2013.

I feel that I have lost my passion in life. I have accepted the fact that people cannot remain the same forever. Everyone has their highs and lows. Everyone has some good and bad qualities. It’s better to accept the reality of people and deal with it. If you want someone to remain in your life, then accept that person in their wholesome. The idea of ideal or perfection doesn’t exist. I am also developing this habit of not needing to know everything. I don't like listening to conversations that don’t interest me. I don't feel motivated to do work about which I’m not convinced. I've realised that you can't get everything you want or wish for in life. The only people who should be with you should be those who are with you. Every person in the world is fighting a battle of their own. I should concentrate on my battle first.

2014: A year in review – Adjusting to the Routine and then breaking it...

It’s already been mid-year and I haven’t made any reminiscences of last year.

2014 was a diverse year. I was in Pakistan when 2014 started. I flew back to Sydney in mid-January. After coming back, the first few weeks left me emotionally drained. However, things got better afterwards. The first half of the year was quite slow and monotonous. I started to get used to the routine, something that had been missing from my life in the past few years. My usual work and home life kept me busy. The only thing that made the first half worthwhile was that I finally started exploring Sydney's surroundings. There is nothing significant about that part of the year to share on my blog. However, the second half of the year kept me very busy, and it broke my routine. I would share that part here. So it all started in June when I was told that by the end of next month, I would be released from the project on which I had been working for the past 1.5 years. My company didn’t have any other projects for me, so I had to sit on a bench. In consulting, it’s nearly inevitable for a consultant to find him or herself between projects. This time is traditionally referred to by the industry as being "on the bench". I was on the bench for three weeks, and then I got news that I had been allocated to a new project. and it’s based in Melbourne. I was told it would be a 3–6 month project and I would have to commute every week from Sydney to Melbourne. Since there was no other work for me in Sydney, I took up this opportunity. Every Monday morning, at 6 a.m., I used to catch a flight from Sydney to Melbourne. Once I reached Melbourne airport, I used to go directly to the workplace and, after finishing my work in the evening, I used to check-in at the hotel. On Thursdays after work, I used to catch a return flight back to Sydney, and on Friday I used to work from home (supposedly). My kids also started to become a bit cranky because of my absence from home every week. I was always fascinated with this kind of lifestyle. This is quite commonplace in consulting. But some things look better in glass windows than when held in your hands.

I am not a morning person and waking up early in the morning on Monday seemed a bit tough. Then there was the constant fear the night before of what might happen if I missed my morning flight. Also, living like this, my eating habits and my gym suffered a lot.

I followed this routine for a few weeks, and then I got fed up with all this commuting. I have decided to bring my family along with me to Melbourne, and we will all stay together till the end of my assignment. We left our apartment in Sydney and put all our stuff in storage. I booked a service apartment in Melbourne. The drive from Sydney to Melbourne is very scenic. We spent 2 months in Melbourne together. I really liked Melbourne. Melbourne has a very laid-back feel. It has a lot of European city flair in it. The only bad thing about Melbourne is its weather. Even though I didn’t like the work much, the city of Melbourne made life easy for me. I got the opportunity to meet my dear friend who was living in Melbourne. One day, I got the news that my role had ended and I had to go back to Sydney to work on a new assignment. I hurriedly looked for an apartment online in Sydney and submitted my lease application for it. It was approved, and at the end of November, we came back to Sydney and shifted to the new home.

Overall, I would say 2014 was a mixed year for me. Half of the year was a bit dull, and the other half was very different from the first. The only best part was the 3 months that I spent in Melbourne. Apart from that, there were a few challenges I faced this year, mostly related to work and because of shifting back and forth.

10 years of Work Life...

Today I have completed 10 years of my working life. I started my first job exactly 10 years ago. So far, I have worked for five different companies in four different cities. Every job brought with it a learning experience for me. It’s been a mixed experience so far. Today I will share how my time was spent in all those companies. 

My very first job was at ESP Global IT Systems. It used to be a top-notch software house and was previously part of ABN AMRO bank. Before I joined that company, ABN AMRO bank sold it to a Dutch company headed by a Pakistani. I consider myself lucky enough that I was able to grab a job immediately after the end of my exams for the final semester. I really liked my first job as it was located in the best building in Lahore. I was happy with the salary I was getting, and the whole ambiance of the company had a very international feel. I would have continued working for that company, but unfortunately it was going through a financial crisis and we were not paid for 3 months. All employees decided to resign from that company. I worked at that company for roughly 9 months. It was very distressing. I had rejected an admission offer at LUMS for Masters, as I thought I would be getting back to the same job after Masters, so it’s better to continue with this job. The very thought that I would again have to hunt for a job was very difficult. 

I started applying to other companies and gave a few interviews. After a month, I got an offer from my previous company's manager, who had established his own company. I accepted the offer. I knew almost everyone in that company as they were all colleagues from my previous company also. So I got the feeling of working for the same company. The salary and benefits I had were great. I was satisfied with the work also, and I was learning a lot. Meanwhile, I have made some good friends too. However, in between, sometimes I wanted to change jobs, as I used to get the feeling that I was getting stagnant and I should work in other environments as well. This was the only issue I had. Other than that, I was really happy in that job. I worked in that company for 5 years and 3 months. I would have been working for the same company if I hadn’t gotten my third job. Before leaving that company, I asked my CEO for assurance that if things didn't work out, I could come back. 

I came to know about a job at Telenor in Islamabad. I applied for it and got interviewed. I wasn't offered the position I applied for; instead I was offered one level below. I rejected the offer. But later, I realised I should consider it. It could be a good step in my career as I would be working for a multinational company. I called them back and accepted the offer. I was getting paid less than I was getting. But I knew the additional benefits I was getting from that company would make it up for me. On a personal level, it was a very challenging move as I had to relocate to Islamabad with my wife and have to settle down there... and I didn't know anyone there who could have helped me. I couldn't adjust well to that company and the city. I had zero work satisfaction and had the worst manager of my professional life. The people whom I considered friends weren't actually friends. All the while, I used to get the feeling that I had made a wrong move. I shouldn't have contacted them back; instead I should have waited for them to contact me again and offer me the same position that I applied for initially. I worked at that company for 1.5 years. Then I got a job offer in Brisbane, where I was moving after getting immigration. I was happy when I left that company, and I didn't have any intention of going back to that job again. 

My fourth job was at Intelligent Pathways, a small software company in Brisbane. The managers and people there at work were very nice and knew their work. The money I was getting was good too. I learned quite a few new things at that job as well. I worked at that company for a whole year. Time went too fast there. I might have been working there if I hadn't gotten the offer for my next job in Sydney. 

The reasons why I joined my current job were:

• First, the salary I was getting was the same as what I demanded... I was quite frank in rejecting their first offer and waited for them to offer me again in a better position (this is what I learnt from my third job).
• Second, the job was in Sydney. Personally, I wanted to leave Brisbane and wanted to live in Sydney for personal reasons.
• Third, the company was Capgemini, one of the world’s largest consulting companies.

My current job has been the most exciting job so far. I have encountered and experienced so many diverse situations here that I haven’t seen before in my career. How people manipulate things to their advantage—what and how things go wrong. I would regard it as definitely one of the most insightful job experiences I have had so far. 

Rating: 

1. Redmath

Pros: 

• The best people I have worked with so far.
• Really good salary and benefits. 
• Well-organized and well-managed work environment. 

Cons:

• The environment was a bit strict. 

2. Capgemini

Pros: 

• Having an Interesting Situation So I got the salary and position I desired with a global brand name. 

Cons: 

• Ineffective management 

3. Intelligent Pathways 

Pros: 

• Very nice people
• Excellent technical learning environment 

Cons:

•  I was working on small projects for a short duration. 

4. ESP Global IT

Pros: 

• First Job
• Good Work Environment 

Cons:

•  Didn't get paid 

5. Telenor

Pros:

• It was a financially rewarding brand name
• Got to Work on New Technologies 

Cons:

•  Incompetent people
• poor management
•  didn't have a good personal experience

Every job has been a learning experience for me. I have worked on a wide variety of tasks with diverse people.

2013: A year in review - Relocation, Family and Work

It’s already February 2014. Today, on my way to the office, I realised that I hadn’t written anything about what happened in my life in 2013... so here it is now. 

2013 started with a new opportunity. I got a job offer in Sydney for a renowned global consulting company. After thinking for a brief time and negotiating about the salary, I finally accepted the offer. It was the first time in my career that the salary I demanded was actually offered to me. I was happy with it. So I resigned from my previous employer and started the big relocation again. It was another big move. There were a lot of tasks that I had to do. Fortunately, I was able to finish them all. I have already written about this in my previous post. 

The next couple of months were very busy. New job; new home; adjusting to the new neighborhood; getting a driving license; buying a car; and finally, the birth of my second child. The rest of the year went pretty fast as well. My domestic life has kept me busy most of the time. In December, I visited Pakistan. The journey from Sydney to Lahore was one of my worst trips. I had 2 connecting flights and one of the flights got delayed a lot, so I barely reached arrival on time for my second flight. The last days of the year went like the rest of the year. Fast... super fast. 

Overall, I feel it was a fast-moving year, and the best things of the year were the birth of my daughter, living in Sydney, working for Capgemini, and getting a driving licence legally.

Khanabadosh...

Another new chapter in my life started four months ago. I have relocated to Sydney and started a new job. This relocation was very exhausting. There were a lot of things that I had to take care of and look after during this relocation. It all started with a job offer I got from a renowned company in Sydney. The job seemed good; I was happy with the money, and the role also looked promising. After little thought, I decided to accept the offer and I resigned from my Brisbane job. This triggered a long to-do list. I had to leave my apartment in Brisbane in the same condition as it was when I leased it, with literally no spots on the wall or on the floor. Then I have to arrange for a removalist to move my stuff from Brisbane to Sydney and put it in storage till I find a new place in Sydney. So, completing all the pending work at my current job, searching for cleaners who could make a good exit, cleaning my apartment, finding a reasonable removalist company along with storage, looking for a new apartment in Sydney, booking tickets to Sydney and arranging a hotel stay for some initial days were some of the main tasks that I had to do. When I found the cleaner and removalist, they came with a little added drama. The cleaner had his appointment list full and had his own work timings; the removalists had a different day to pick up stuff from my apartment, which was again different from the end date of my apartment lease; and my last working day at the office was a totally different day. Having to synchronise tasks and manage timing for all these activities consumed a lot of my brain power, and I had to arrange a stay in a hotel in Brisbane additionally. However, all the tasks were done completely and in the way I wanted, and I prepared to say good bye to Brisbane. On the final day, 2 hours before the flight, I booked the flight tickets, and during the flight takeoff, I booked a hotel in Sydney. When I arrived in Sydney, I submitted an application for an apartment, which was approved, and after a week, I shifted there. The new job seemed to be fine. My new apartment was not as stylish as my previous one was, but it was still the best option I had at that moment. It took me some weeks to settle down in the new suburb. I already had some acquaintances in that suburb. Therefore, it was a relief to me that at least my social life here in Sydney would be better than in Brisbane. My new apartment was bigger than the previous one, so I had to buy a lot of new furniture for it. After settling down, the next big thing was to get a driving license. Unfortunately, a Pakistani licence cannot be converted into an Australian licence directly. One has to pass a written and practical driving test first. Driving in Sydney is very different from Lahore. There are a lot of rules and signs to follow. The law is strict and people do follow it. A practical driving test is a nightmare. They won’t let you pass it easily on the first attempt. You have to be very careful during a test. One small mistake and you fail. I had been driving in Pakistan for many years, but the practical test troubled me a lot. I had to take classes from driving instructors and failed the test twice. Finally, after some effort and spending lots of money, I passed the test. The next thing was to buy a car. There are so many choices here in Sydney as compared to Pakistan. But luckily, things here are straight-forward, and there are seldom any chances of dealers lying about the history of cars. You can also search for the details of a second-hand car on the internet before you buy it. After buying a car, the next best thing that happened was the birth of my second child. My daughter, Mysha.

It’s been four months since I moved to Sydney, but it seems like a really long time. I have finally decided now to stay in Sydney as long as I am in Australia. I don’t want to experience relocation again now. I am done with them. In Sha Allah, the only relocation I am looking forward to now is the one when I will relocate back to Lahore permanently.

2012: A year in review – My Challenges

Here goes 2012. Apparently, the apocalypse didn't happen this year. But my personal life did face some tremors and I am still feeling their after-shocks. 2012 started with a bang. In December 2011, I resigned from Telenor and decided to relocate to Australia with my family. So at the start of January, I wrapped up everything from Islamabad and moved back to Lahore. Islamabad is a beautiful and nice city. But personally, I would still prefer Lahore over it at any cost. Anyway, on January 24th, I flew to Australia along with my wife and son. The initial few weeks were very exhausting for me mentally; settling up in a new country; looking for a place to live; buying household stuff; getting familiar with the new environment and system; and starting a whole new job and company. Apart from all this, the very fact that I didn't have any acquaintances or friends in the new city to help me out, so to make myself accustomed to everything was the biggest challenge of my life. Luckily, by the grace of Allah, I didn't face much difficulty. Thanks to an office assignment, I got a chance to live in Sydney in April or May. During that time, I came to know that my mother was suffering from Hepatitis C. Apart from that, I have faced an awful personal experience in my life. The whole month of June and afterwards became very tough for me emotionally. I got homesick and, at times, regretted coming to Australia. It took me a few months to find ample peace to live with it. I visited Pakistan in October and there I almost forgot that I had not been living there for the past 9 months. After coming back, I went back again to that old feeling, but after a few weeks, I again found peace. As I said, I could still feel the after-shocks at times.

Overall, it was a challenging year for me and my family. It was an emotionally very tough year for me, and it was my fault that I let my emotions drive me. This year tested me on many personal grounds. In spite of all those tests, I am still here, steadfast and rock steady. I guess now I should now wait for the rewards of those tests.

The previous year has also made me realise how blessed I am by Allah for having such a fortunate family and friends.

Maths of Life

I am a strong believer in Makafat-e-amal. I believe everyone faces the consequences of their actions in their lives. What goes around comes around. If you intentionally hurt someone or harm someone emotionally, physically, mentally, or financially, then sooner or later you will also face that pain. If you are the source of happiness for someone, then someday someone else will provide you with happiness. Life always does its maths and gives the results, even in the end. I have faced it. This is sometimes the only thing that keeps me from exacting vengeance on those who have wronged me. I try to forgive people and rest my case in the hands of Allah. Sooner or later, the truth will be revealed. The true faces of people are exposed, and everyone is rewarded and punished for their actions. I always try to be true to people and help them selflessly with good intentions and with everything I have, because I know that sooner or later, I will be rewarded for that. It is difficult to forgive people or to help someone wholeheartedly from whom you can’t expect any favor, but then life is very unpredictable, and you never know in which phase of it you need happiness the most. You may find sorrow instead. Simply have faith in Allah, be patient, and do good to everyone you meet without any ill will. In the end, it will take you down the road to success and happiness.