Lost and Found

For quite some time, I have been having this feeling that I have lost something. What exactly was it? I am unable to find it. However, I do remember the very first time I had this feeling. I absolutely have no clue, even if I think hard to remember what apparently made me dwell on it. But it seems like that thing that was very dear to me got lost inside me. On the flip side, I have found something which has now become dear to me. Perhaps what was lost has been compensated for by what was gained, as if a farewell for one is a welcome for the other.

I have found the above post in my drafts. I wrote this in May 2010. That feeling of loss has been subdued now and I barely remember that feeling. However, I have lost another thing from inside me. This happened sometime during the second half of 2013.

I feel that I have lost my passion in life. I have accepted the fact that people cannot remain the same forever. Everyone has their highs and lows. Everyone has some good and bad qualities. It’s better to accept the reality of people and deal with it. If you want someone to remain in your life, then accept that person in their wholesome. The idea of ideal or perfection doesn’t exist. I am also developing this habit of not needing to know everything. I don't like listening to conversations that don’t interest me. I don't feel motivated to do work about which I’m not convinced. I've realised that you can't get everything you want or wish for in life. The only people who should be with you should be those who are with you. Every person in the world is fighting a battle of their own. I should concentrate on my battle first.

2014: A year in review – Adjusting to the Routine and then breaking it...

It’s already been mid-year and I haven’t made any reminiscences of last year.

2014 was a diverse year. I was in Pakistan when 2014 started. I flew back to Sydney in mid-January. After coming back, the first few weeks left me emotionally drained. However, things got better afterwards. The first half of the year was quite slow and monotonous. I started to get used to the routine, something that had been missing from my life in the past few years. My usual work and home life kept me busy. The only thing that made the first half worthwhile was that I finally started exploring Sydney's surroundings. There is nothing significant about that part of the year to share on my blog. However, the second half of the year kept me very busy, and it broke my routine. I would share that part here. So it all started in June when I was told that by the end of next month, I would be released from the project on which I had been working for the past 1.5 years. My company didn’t have any other projects for me, so I had to sit on a bench. In consulting, it’s nearly inevitable for a consultant to find him or herself between projects. This time is traditionally referred to by the industry as being "on the bench". I was on the bench for three weeks, and then I got news that I had been allocated to a new project. and it’s based in Melbourne. I was told it would be a 3–6 month project and I would have to commute every week from Sydney to Melbourne. Since there was no other work for me in Sydney, I took up this opportunity. Every Monday morning, at 6 a.m., I used to catch a flight from Sydney to Melbourne. Once I reached Melbourne airport, I used to go directly to the workplace and, after finishing my work in the evening, I used to check-in at the hotel. On Thursdays after work, I used to catch a return flight back to Sydney, and on Friday I used to work from home (supposedly). My kids also started to become a bit cranky because of my absence from home every week. I was always fascinated with this kind of lifestyle. This is quite commonplace in consulting. But some things look better in glass windows than when held in your hands.

I am not a morning person and waking up early in the morning on Monday seemed a bit tough. Then there was the constant fear the night before of what might happen if I missed my morning flight. Also, living like this, my eating habits and my gym suffered a lot.

I followed this routine for a few weeks, and then I got fed up with all this commuting. I have decided to bring my family along with me to Melbourne, and we will all stay together till the end of my assignment. We left our apartment in Sydney and put all our stuff in storage. I booked a service apartment in Melbourne. The drive from Sydney to Melbourne is very scenic. We spent 2 months in Melbourne together. I really liked Melbourne. Melbourne has a very laid-back feel. It has a lot of European city flair in it. The only bad thing about Melbourne is its weather. Even though I didn’t like the work much, the city of Melbourne made life easy for me. I got the opportunity to meet my dear friend who was living in Melbourne. One day, I got the news that my role had ended and I had to go back to Sydney to work on a new assignment. I hurriedly looked for an apartment online in Sydney and submitted my lease application for it. It was approved, and at the end of November, we came back to Sydney and shifted to the new home.

Overall, I would say 2014 was a mixed year for me. Half of the year was a bit dull, and the other half was very different from the first. The only best part was the 3 months that I spent in Melbourne. Apart from that, there were a few challenges I faced this year, mostly related to work and because of shifting back and forth.